If you’re starting a new relationship with high hopes but are quickly disappointed after a short time, you can prolong the life of the relationship by recognizing your mistakes.
Mistakes you make in relationships can put you in a dead end. In fact, the end of the relationship can often end in frustration because of these mistakes. There are certain mistakes in your relationship that you need to watch out for, and usually almost everyone makes. So what are these errors?
not accepting differences
We all have different lifestyles. Their thoughts are different. But we ignore them and start the relationship. Then, when the person in front of us does not fit these patterns, we may feel as if there is a deficiency. Or we may think that in order for the relationship to work, we need to show ourselves different from what we are. It is easy to love the ideal man/woman, but is it also easy to love the other person? Trying to understand the differences, finding a way to love the other person as they are without putting them in our stereotypes, accepting both him and ourselves with all our authenticity opens the way from “me” to “us”.
Not taking responsibility for mistakes
When something goes wrong in the relationship, cutting the bill quickly to the other side, not taking responsibility for the current situation, blaming your partner all the time causes the relationship to get wounds that are difficult to repair. Saying “I’m not the problem” doesn’t mean you’re looking for a solution. If the same problems are experienced over and over, instead of blaming your partner and confronting him, you can come together and think about how you can solve the problem. So you can spend your time and energy solving real problems, not blaming each other.
Not caring about spending quality time
Make a list of activities you enjoy doing together and try to do them each week. Try to dedicate yourself to what you are doing during this time. At these times when you are approaching the other person with care, valuing them and trying to understand their different situations and nurture your relationship, set aside the distractions. Don’t chat with one eye on the phone. Prioritize these times over your other plans.
not knowing how to appreciate
Belittlement, ridicule, and unconstructive criticism constantly give your partner the message that they are “not liked”. However, being admired is one of our most basic sources of happiness. Being curious about the other person’s experiences, showing interest, praising their talents, appreciating their achievements, looking for ways to show our admiration in different ways deepens trust and love in a relationship.
failing to protect borders
“Who am I?” We don’t ask ourselves too many questions. But if we avoid asking this question and looking for the answer, our life will easily be shaped according to the wishes and needs of others. It is very important to know ourselves and to be aware of our feelings and needs in order to both protect our own borders and respect the borders of the other party.
Creating gaps in communication
No matter how painful the subject is, anything can be discussed in a relationship. Using nonviolent communication methods makes it easier for you to express yourself correctly and to understand the other person. Stopping talking, judging, withdrawing, not listening cuts the connection between couples, increases misunderstandings and eliminates the possibility of problem solving. Don’t wait for the other person to read your mind, be open and have a dialogue. Being accommodating, empathetic, and compassionate towards each other makes it easier for you to resolve conflicts.