“Have you ever listened to your friend’s problem for hours when things were not going well in your life? Or that you are sad as if you experienced a situation that he described? Have you ever cried heartily for him? Or music you don’t listen to in case other people make fun of you? Have you ever gone to help your friend when you have a very important exam tomorrow? Then let’s get to know the Extreme Empathy Syndrome together.”
Excessive Empathy Syndrome is when a person constantly prioritizes the feelings and thoughts of others, and even shapes their own life in accordance with others. The individual with the Extreme Empathy Syndrome keeps his own thoughts, feelings and benefits in the background. The individual takes care to make decisions from the perspective of other people, even his private life decisions. He prioritizes those around him rather than being the hero of his own life. The individual with Hyperempathy syndrome has certain thought patterns and concerns. Some of these patterns are “What does the world say?” or “What do others think?” It’s exactly the same as sayings. The main concern of individuals in this syndrome is to be perceived by their heads as harsh, lacking in understanding, and selfish. They are also extremely afraid of being blamed for their private behavior. This anxiety is so intense for them that it can change the course of their lives. Individuals with hyper-empathy syndrome are generally described as very kind, helpful and altruistic by their environment. In this naming, keeping the external environment by ignoring one’s own self plays a major role. Although these adjectives attributed to the person seem to reduce the discomfort of the person’s anxiety, they actually appear as a nurturing element. Because the person will start to feel obliged to make an extra effort to protect the perception he has created in the external environment. This will lead to a decrease in the person’s satisfaction over time, to serious physical and mental fatigue, and to unhappiness at the same time. Individuals with Excessive Empathy Syndrome may also reflect this syndrome on their children. Children can grow up with control and pressure. Children may be asked to act more carefully and to put the interests of others first. This may either damage their relationship or cause the child to have the same syndrome in the future. I would like to convey some suggestions to individuals with Extreme Empathy Syndrome. The first is that it is not selfish to prioritize ourselves in our life order. Stewardesses on airplanes
I would like to exemplify this through an announcement made by us so far. “Please put your oxygen mask on yourself first and then on your child.” Because the prerequisite for helping someone is that the individual is healthy, happy and peaceful. This is not selfishness, on the contrary, it is a help you provide to the person by increasing the quality of the benefit you can provide. However, your life is yours. Just as we can brag after a success, we should also take responsibility for our failures. But if a decision we make because others don’t approve of it ends in failure, wouldn’t it be more difficult for you to take responsibility for it than to make your own decision?
Organized by: Specialist Clinical Psychologist Damla KANKAYA
Posted by Psychologist Buse SARI