After giving birth, tolerance between couples may decrease and marriages may break down. So what should we do? Here are the curiosities!
Expressing that women’s intense interest in their postpartum babies can create communication problems between couples, Psychiatrist Dr. Orhan Karaca warned, “When the father thinks that he is not getting attention from his wife, he should share this with his wife without hesitation and should not interrupt communication.”
Stating that women’s postpartum anxieties, intense interest in the baby, and the new order coming home with the baby, men are closely related to Psychiatry Specialist Dr. Orhan Karaca stated that this situation can cause jealousy and communication breakdown between couples.
“Tolerance between couples can decrease”
Expressing that postpartum mothers direct all their attention to the baby, especially in the first months, Uzm. Dr. Orhan Karaca said, “This situation, which is considered normal in terms of mother-infant relationship, can be disturbing for fathers. In this process, the father may feel neglected and experience emotional turbulence. This feeling of lack of communication and neglect can lead to the thought that birth is premature. Conspiracies are increasing in the head and at a moment when the tolerance is very low, there can be violent arguments.”
“Avoid acting in anger”
Pointing out that the longer the mother’s interest in the baby, the ‘neglected’ feeling in the father will be strengthened. Dr. Orhan Karaca said, “A father who thinks that his wife does not pay enough attention to him may feel resentment and anger. At this point, the father should express his resentment, the mother should try to understand the thoughts and feelings of her husband, and try to keep the communication open. The only way to manage the father’s feeling of being excluded because of the mother’s intense communication with the baby is to increase the dialogue. Because it is a sensitive period, the tendency of both men and women to get angry can interrupt communication. First of all, it is a person’s right to express every hurting issue in an appropriate language. Appropriate expression also allows the addressee to feel respected. Simultaneously, the woman must express herself. The woman should not hesitate to express her need for support, and should create an opportunity for her husband to empathize with her. Establishing positive sentences while speaking and avoiding acting in anger will help the relationship to normalize again,” he advised.
Men don’t get it, don’t hold the baby like that!
Warning that the mother should also give the father an opportunity while taking care of the baby, Uzm. Dr. Karaca said: “The mother should give the father an opportunity while changing the baby’s diaper and dressing. Thus, the mother-infant relationship that has existed since birth can develop between the baby and the father. Mothers should seek help from the fathers in housework or baby care. The father should be allowed to be with the mother and baby while the baby is breastfed. Close observation of the baby’s communication with the mother enables the father to have an idea about and understand the feeling of motherhood. Distribution of duties in the care of the baby should not be neglected as it will allow the baby to establish a relationship with the father. The mother’s warning to the father about the baby ‘men don’t understand’, ‘don’t keep the baby like that. Negative statements such as ‘ restrict the communication of couples. Therefore, duties should be given to the father, and asking the father with positive and constructive expressions will positively support this process.