Your relationship, which started with passion as in fairy tales, may start to wear out as a result of arguments as time goes on. This cold war between you and your lover or spouse can also create a breaking point in your relationship. Beware of!
To help prevent stalemate arguments and make it easier for couples who are constantly at odds, we’ve compiled 6 tips to ease the tension between you.
Even if you’re right, you should take a break from arguing
If you are in the middle of an argument with your partner and are tired of conflict, you may need to calm down your situation. Simply put, take a deep breath and let both you and your partner reflect on what happened. Agree to return to the topic once your anger about the event has passed.
It is important that neither you nor the other person feel ‘outed’. Don’t forget that you are a team in this discussion where you are waving the white flag, albeit for a short time. No matter how resentful you are, accept that neither of you is perfect.
Pay attention to your partner’s mood before returning to the dialogue
When the mood you were feeling angry has subsided and you are ready to talk again, ask your partner if everything is okay and how they are feeling. A positive response in a calm tone is a sure sign that the situation is stable enough for further discussion of the conflict issue. If your partner reacts angrily to your question, offer to return to the discussion after a while.
Explain what caused your dissatisfaction
If you are confident that you and your partner have calmed down after taking the necessary break from your argument, explain the gist of your complaint without blaming the other party. For example; You can explain what the other person did wrong by using expressions such as “I understood that… / I thought so…”.
By constructing sentences in this way, you express your point of view and successfully explain to your partner how you feel. He too can understand how you look at the situation without feeling the need to defend himself. This will keep the conflict between you low, save your partner from retaliation, and make it possible to realize how upsetting you are, regardless of his intentions.
Listen to your partner’s point of view
When you’re done talking about what’s upsetting you, politely ask your partner what he or she thinks about it. In a relationship, it’s important not only to be able to talk, but also to feel understood. Two-way communication is the easiest way to understand how close you are with your partner.
Take note of your and his opinion
Often the behavior in an argument is based on the need to control the outcome. We shout, explain, or defend ourselves because we want the discussion to end on our terms. Or, conversely, even if your partner’s thoughts are clearly wrong, you may be making an extra effort to come to terms because you are afraid of losing him.
There is a big difference between stepping on your partner, manipulating them for superiority, and effective conflict resolution. The mutual understanding you will gain in the process of open communication allows both parties to get to know each other better and helps the relationship to be strengthened and developed.
Don’t ignore problems
Arguments are an integral part of relationships, it’s true. But many couples believe that there should be no conflicts in the relationship. Differences of opinion that you do not bring to light cause to shake the foundations of your relationship after a while and cause your relationship to evolve into an unhealthy situation as time goes on.
You may need to consider how you should interact with your partner during the discussion. This means listening to the uncomfortable truths he may have to say, understanding your role in the conflict, and trying to be objective when expressing your thoughts. This process also helps to find ways to apologize, regain trust or change behavior if necessary; Together, it can be the key step for your long and happy life expectancy to come true.